A New Year + New Goals = A New Me?

[i've got nothing to lose, except weight! so here goes!]

• Be Organized: Get a big calendar and daily planner to help keep track of due dates, appointments, events, etc. That way, there's no excuse to be late or on "Filipino Time"

• Keep My Room Clean! By cleaning it once every week or more, depending on how messy it is. Remember: "A Cluttered Room makes for a Cluttered Mind"

• Do Laundry Once a Month: Instead of waiting until my clothes run out because that'll never happen.. So the dirty clothes pile up, making the room messy; and that's a No-No!
  

• Eat Healthier. Have fast food only once or twice a week. NO SODA: only water, teas, and juices. Don't eat too much and keep it in proportion.

• Save Money! Buy only if I need and rarely if I want. Start putting money away in a Bank Account again. Interest from Savings is my BFF!

• Exercise 30min a Day or 3-4x a Week: Run, Dance, Walk. Do Something, Be Active, Be a Verb! hehe.
  

• Volunteer/Community Service: At least once a month or more. Helping out others, donating, random acts of kindness, charity work. You know, all that good stuffs. (:

• Focus on School! Get Straight A's! Just think the Asian Grading System way: A=Average, B=Below Average, C=Crap, D=Below Average, F=Fail

• Family: Take to heart "Forget About Me, I Love You" Do things not just for myself but for them too. Like helping out without being told & to be a better Ate.

• Friends: Spend time and catch up with old friends, find a way to keep in touch with long distance friends and make lots of new friends. "The more the merrier!"
  

• Reduce Negativity: Always see the bright side of things. Learn to appreciate things for the way they are, not for how they "should be". And no Debby Downers please!!
  

• Have More Patience. It's the key to achieving everything on this list. But it'll also take time and effort. So don't go giving up! Just be patient.
  

Forget About Me, I Love You

Happy Anniversary Momma and Daddy!

Thanksgivings' already past, but I'd like to say I'm really thankful for my FAMILY. Especially to my Mom and Dad, they've been there for me since day 1 and it's amazing how they're still putting up with me now! Let's just say I've put them through my fair share of headache inducing troubles, pointless arguments and just being a bad daughter in general... I really don't know how else to explain how after all that, they still keep being there to guide me and my sisters along.

I'm going to chalk it up to a thing called Unconditional Love because there's no other reason, unless my parents are just plain crazy and sometimes I doubt that, for all the sacrifices they go through for us kids. I know of Moms and Dads who put themselves first before their own kids and it's just sad. To be honest, I'm scared of being a parent. But my own parents are doing such a great job raising me and my sisters that I feel I won't have to worry as much because I'll have them to look up and aspire to be like.

As for my sisters, I know I haven't been the best Ate; big sister, to them. Sorry for that and everything I've ever done wrong to you two! I'm still learning and getting the hang of things, I just hope they know that I'm always going to be here for them no matter what, just like Mom and Dad. And if I'm not, don't worry I'll make up for it when I become a Nurse already! Oh crap, I shouldn't have said that. I have a feeling I'll be held accountable one day.. They're both still so young though: my middle sister Allison is 11 and my baby sister Samantha is only 4. My parents didn't plan it but we're all about 7 years apart. I just can't wait for when we're all grown up, having our own family get togethers and Momma & Daddy get their own room in each of our houses. (:

For now, everything is just perfect. I couldn't ask for anything else from my family. I'm just going to strive to be the best I could be for them. After all, it's what they deserve because they're ALWAYS going to be the best I will ever have. You best believe! Hah.

Friends & Ships
"Tell me who your friends are. And I'll tell you who you are."

Lately, I've been thinking about my friends and our friendships..
I remember when it was freshman year: everyone was friends with everyone, it was so fun and chill. Then by senior year there were little cliques and you only had your close friends to really depend on.

It's pretty much still that way for me. But I've gotten to the point where I choose who I want to be around and get close to because I know that the people I'm around and that surround me, influence me even in my subconscious. It's kind of scary and funny and a little embarrassing when I catch myself doing something that one of my friends would've done or said. Yet, isn't imitation the best form of flattery?

The best thing about friendships is when, and I only have this with a handful of my friends, I can call them any time of the day or night, and they'll be there. And our conversation just flows, we talk about anything and everything and nothing all at once. Even if we haven't talked for long periods of time, when I catch up with them, it's like no time has passed.

It just makes me sad when I grow apart from friends and our friendship fades. I feel like a part of me sort of faded away too. Like the old saying goes, it takes two to tango; one friend can't always be the one calling, texting, myspacing, facebooking, webcamming or whatever -ing when the other friend doesn't even reciprocate. It makes for a one-sided friendship, where it's easy for people to say "let it go" "just drop them" but I never want to be the one that gave up. I'll just leave them be, give them time and continue our friendship when they're ready.

I care more for QUALITY with friends, than quantity.. So I had to let some friendships go because I realized the cons far out weighed the pros, especially when being around them wasn't fun anymore, more forced.. And that it was better to set sail on different ships of independence. lame.. i know. i just wanted to make it match the title.

Gone Too Soon. . .

the first & last picture of me and Paula taken on May 2009

RIP my Goddaughter Paula

It's been almost a week by tomorrow, since the day she passed away. And to tell you the truth, I'm still in denial about the whole thing.. I mean, I grasped the whole idea of her being six feet underground and pushing daisies but I'm still frustratingly questioning WHY?! Why did she have to die so young? Why her? Just why??

The day I found out that she had passed away was on Wednesday; September 30. My momma had picked me up from school and she told the news inside the van. I felt like a mood-ring with all the emotions that rushed through me. I was shocked, then sad, and then angry. Angry at the fact that she died at the young age of 10. I had only physically met her twice; in 2007 and when my family and I went to the Philippines this year.

I'm very thankful that I at least got to know her some because she was such a little sweetie. I still smile when I remember the time I gave her a Hannah Montana bag and a Disney Minnie Mouse Tee. She pranced around her cousins, showing of the presents I gave her! And she cheekily told them that they couldn't touch her presents that "Ninang Johnalyn" gave her because they might make it dirty. Ninang means Godmother in Tagalog and I became Paula's Godmom or "Ninang" through her mom; my cousin.

It's times like these when I remember that LIFE IS PRECIOUS. That things really shouldn't be taken for granted. Yet, we do take things for granted everyday! It's crazy.. So now, I'm going to try and live my life everyday like I have Cancer. Imagine if you found out, right now, that you have cancer. Wouldn't you look at life, your life, differently and want to do as much for yourself as well as others around you; now that you know that you only have a limited amount of time left? I always end up thinking of Queen Latifah in Last Holiday, she frees herself from any inhibitions and lives her life to the fullest. Just think of it this way. Do you really need to be diagnosed with a terminal illness to make you value everyday that you're alive? We live our lives everyday in denial, like we're never going to die. But we all will, at some point. So why not cherish what life has to offer for us?

I DARE YOU TO LIVE EVERYDAY LIKE YOU HAVE CANCER!

MEAT: To Eat or Not To Eat?
[that is the question]

I've recently come to decide that I'm going to be a VEGETARIAN. Yes, I said it. A vegetarian. A Herbivore, Plant Eater, whatever you wanna call it.

It's only been a recent decision, but it's a decision I've been thinking about for awhile now. And it's because I didn't want to just "try it out" like it's some sorta phase I go through or something. I really want to make this a lifestyle change. Why, you might ask? Well, let's see, there's many factors that key into it. I first got the idea in my head when, earlier this year, I went on vacation in the Philippines and I witnessed a pig being stabbed to death. It was horrible the way that the people man handled and shanked it. I really didn't mean to witness any of it at all. I was just passing by and the back door to a butcher shop was open. Then I heard the poor pig squeal at the top of it's lungs while a man stabbed it repeatedly in the neck..

I was so traumatized by what I saw; for the rest of the day the image of the dying pig kept haunting me.. I ended up refusing to eat any of the meat from the very same pig that we had at a party that day. My family found it odd that I didn't eat any of it, and they kept telling me to have some because a whole roasted pig is a delicacy in the Philippines. But to no avail, I chose to have everything else BUT the roasted pig.

That was back in May this year, the image of the poor pig doesn't haunt me as much as the thought of how morally wrong it is to have animals die for our own survival. Which is the second factor for my wanting to be a vegetarian. I feel that animals deserve to live, just as humans do. It just doesn't feel right for me to eat them.

There's a third and final reason why I want to be a Vegetarian. But I kind of don't want to discuss it. It's personal and this is public. Feel me?

So here goes, I'm officially starting today [09.01.09] to be a Lacto/Ovo Vegetarian: eggs and dairy product eating vegetarian. I'll also be eating fish and other seafoods though just no red meat/animal meat. It's going to be tough since my family eats all types of meats. They support me though, since I told them about my decision. But I'm gunna try and turn them around too!

someone informed me that the official term for my diet is Pesca-Vegetarianism. (:

[WHAT MAKES ME HAPPY]

• seeing strangers pick up other people's dropped things
• having conversations that just flow
• really comfy worn in jeans
• bear hugs, meaningful hugs, just hugs in general
• a baby's laugh
• laying on fresh sheets straight from the dryer
  
• finding money in pockets
  
• inside jokes for days
• seeing an elderly couple walking down the street holding hands
• petting furry animals
• listening to really good music that fits my mood exactly
• getting good back massages
• real homemade food
  
• when my parents tell me how proud they are of me
• making people laugh
• being there for someone whenever they need me
• rolling down a grassy hill
• building forts
• 11:11 wishes that come true
  

this is only a short list. there's way too many things and moments to list. oh but i like to make lists. it just makes things easier to read, you know? so fair warning. haha.